To be a doctor.

When I first entered medical school, I had no notion whatsoever of the inescapable leadership that society bestows upon doctors. My idea then of being a doctor was limited to that of treating diseases and relieving symptoms, performing surgeries and prescribing medications. Eventually it expanded to being a perpetual student and researcher; later on, it came to include being a friend, or at least, a source of comfort for the patient and his family.

 

But being a leader? It was only here in med school that I learned that, whether we like it or not, we doctors are expected to take charge and be on top of things. We are expected to have a stand, and when called for, to act on it. Leadership is all but thrust into our hands. People look up to us and they listen to whatever we have to say. Needless to say, we are a pricey commodity on the dating market—in the words of a friend, “Everyone wants to date a doctor.” Parents like to brag about their doctor children, and merely wearing a white coat and having a stethoscope around your neck can sometimes be enough for people to step aside and make way for you.

 

It’s not that I’m putting too much pomp into the profession, and perhaps some people would think that I’m overinflating society’s opinion of us. But you have to admit that there is some grain of truth to all of that.

 

Is it the knowledge we have gained and continue to gain in all our years of study? Perhaps. Or could it be more of the fact that we deal with real people’s lives? That more often than not, and whether we care to admit it or not, we do play a big role in how a person’s life will turn out—if he will be treated of his infection, if he will be rid of his cancer, if he will lead a good-quality life despite having a congenital or degenerative disease, if he will survive his injuries, if he will live.

 

It is overwhelming—all this power that doctors have the potential to yield. Not surprisingly, some unenlightened few do abuse it. Some choose to shrink away from it. A lot of others become great leaders and pioneers in their respective fields.

 

As a student doctor, I have this zealous desire to be great. I want to be a great doctor, to deserve the high regard that comes naturally with having a degree in medicine. But I am also aware of what it entails.

 

A few years ago, my friend and I were thinking out loud as to why medicine is a post-graduate course, and not a college degree which one can earn after a shorter period of time. Eventually, we came to the conclusion that it is because a medical career is not just a job. Being a doctor is not something you start to be at 8 am and cease to be at 5 pm. It is something that we become, something that we breathe in and breathe out every moment of our lives. If we allow it to, it can govern every major and minor aspect of our lives. And more often than not, that is exactly what happens.

 

To be a doctor—a multifaceted healer, student, teacher, comrade, and leader—is a vocation, a calling. It is not an easy one. That is why people look up to us and expect a certain degree of guidance and leadership from us. And that is why it is not easy to begin with.